Kyle Richards’ extreme duck face on her smug advice book: ridiculous

I can’t stand Kyle Richards. She’s a nasty, petty, narcissistic piece of work – in other words she’s perfect for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because the drama, backstabbing and catfighting come naturally to her. Yesterday I got an e-mail from the PopSugar network that alerted me to this new self help book by Kyle called Life Is Not a Reality Show: Keeping It Real with the Housewife Who Does It All. It’s just so ridiculous I had to share. In the book trailer on Amazon, Kyle calls herself “the quintessential girl’s girl” and says she wants to “share my thoughts on everything, from my personal life to how I dressed at night, to how I put myself together to how I get up and make my kids snacks in the morning.” That’s pretty much why Gwyneth Paltrow started Goop. She thought that the public wanted nothing more than to have her life, and Kyle suffers from the same delusion. Here’s the book description:

In the wild world of Beverly Hills, high-priced glam squads, flashy cars, and off-the-charts drama are the norm. Enter Kyle Richards: born and raised in the nation’s most dazzling neighborhood, she’s practically royalty in the 90210 zip code. And yet her loving family life, lack of pretention (no nannies, stylists, or personal chefs for this diva), and “girls’ girl” attitude make her a breath of fresh air on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Now, she’s revealing how she achieves that perfect mix of celebrity and normality. In this collection of the best tips, advice, and strategies she knows, Kyle’s talking friend to friend so you can create that blend of glitz and know-how in your own life:

Family
Kyle’s a hands-on parent who shares how she’s raising her four daughters to be self-sufficient, compassionate, and—above all—not spoiled. (Kyle grew up in a family of all women with her extraordinary mother teaching all the children her unique take on life.)

Men
Being married to Mauricio, a devoted husband and wonderful father, Kyle is often asked what makes a happy and lasting marriage. She shares all of her best advice for keeping a marriage strong and, for single women, how to find the perfect partner.

Hair
Would you believe those famously luscious locks are courtesy of drugstore shampoo? Turns out Beverly Hills style doesn’t have to cost a fortune!

Beauty
Kyle’s beauty routine is practical and never too trendy. She shares her secrets for choosing the best lip glosses, blushes, creams, and cleansers, and explains how you can look gorgeous even if you’re on a budget. (Her tips on applying glam-inducing false eyelashes alone are a must read.)

Entertaining
After years of soirees fit for the Hollywood elite, Kyle knows what it takes to throw a party your friends will talk about for years…without breaking the bank.

Childhood memories, tales from behind the scenes of The Real Housewives, warm and hilarious family stories—Kyle’s sharing all.

Stop imagining what it’s like to live in the country’s most glamorous zip code…and start trying out the good life yourself!

[From Amazon]

Kyle spackles on the makeup and she has huge fake hair extensions. She’s cruel to her sister and is a catty, petty person. Of course she considers herself an expert on everything and a “girl’s girl” when she’s anything but. This is going to sound super bitchy, but here goes. Like that evil drunken psychic last season on RHOBH, I get the impression that Kyle’s husband Mauricio is a cheater. He projects this good guy image, but he’s super slick and confident and I just get the cheater vibe from him. Maybe I’m hoping that’s the case because I just so thoroughly dislike Kyle. It’s wrong to wish ill will on people, but there you go.

Also, Lisa Vanderpump has a book out too. It’s called Simply Divine: A Guide to Easy, Elegant, and Affordable Entertaining. At least Lisa has experience in those matters, having owned successful bars and restaurants for decades. She does think it’s perfectly acceptable to have your dog eat at the table with you, though. No matter how cute the dog is, that’s just wrong.

These photos are from 12/14/11 and 10/29/11. Nice Halloween costume. It looks like something her niece Paris would wear. Credit: Fame